








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2939 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2712 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2555 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2216 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,253 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA Goon | Badger (gooning) | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | underground jew | 51% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA Goon | Badger (gooning) | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | underground jew | 51% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA Goon | Badger (gooning) | 11 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | underground jew | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 4 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | underground jew | 244 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | LA Goon | Badger (gooning) | 60 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | +3.37 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | LA Goon | Badger (gooning) | +2.30 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | Koddaa_ | +0.57 | 51 | 55 |
| #4 | underground jew | -1.77 | 46 | 62 |





