








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1744 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1586 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1494 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1232 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,867 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HDLR] NaKo™ | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Juani la stripper | 50% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HDLR] NaKo™ | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Juani la stripper | 50% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juani la stripper | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | [HDLR] NaKo™ | 2 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juani la stripper | 655 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | [HDLR] NaKo™ | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HDLR] NaKo™ | +1.61 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Juani la stripper | +1.46 | 43 | 85 |
| #3 | LaViejaDelPeekillo | -1.67 | 25 | 64 |





