








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2255 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3055 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2913 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,113,834 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ZiBing | 44% | 59 |
| #4 | Ⓢⓤⓟⓐ Ⓢⓐⓦⓐ | 43% | 180 |
| #5 | Love°一世 | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | 被遺忘嘅人 | 41% | 95 |
| #7 | DIEDAWANHUAYOU | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 被遺忘嘅人 | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Ⓢⓤⓟⓐ Ⓢⓐⓦⓐ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | I'm Fine | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | DIEDAWANHUAYOU | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ZiBing | 2 | 0.0016 |





