








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 455 | 15% |
| Smokes | 623 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,038 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perhaps | 44% | 79 |
| #2 | VinceG | 43% | 58 |
| #3 | OOen4x | 40% | 106 |
| #4 | ULTRANiKo | 39% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perhaps | 44% | 79 |
| #2 | VinceG | 43% | 58 |
| #3 | OOen4x | 40% | 106 |
| #4 | ULTRANiKo | 39% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OOen4x | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | VinceG | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Perhaps | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ULTRANiKo | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OOen4x | 241 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | ULTRANiKo | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Perhaps | 75 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | VinceG | 23 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULTRANiKo | +2.72 | 70 | 49 |
| #2 | Perhaps | -0.33 | 53 | 47 |
| #3 | kokomax | -0.74 | 55 | 34 |
| #4 | VinceG | -1.03 | 61 | 32 |
| #5 | OOen4x | -1.66 | 22 | 62 |





