








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 296 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12414 | 39% |
| Smokes | 7575 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5607 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5885 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,030 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where_is_Mefju | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | wiqu [myle klawisze] | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | i'm shy☹[jestem debilem] | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | IVanToI | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i'm shy☹[jestem debilem] | +3.24 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | 33Telazka [myle klawisze] | +3.00 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | IVanToI | +0.20 | 49 | 61 |
| #4 | Where_is_Mefju | -1.34 | 49 | 34 |
| #5 | wiqu [myle klawisze] | -4.09 | 25 | 11 |





