








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1790 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1847 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1895 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,838 of utility $279 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 709 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HΣNaRa$ Sorena | 55% | 97 |
| #2 | cockiaw | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Blind | 53% | 130 |
| #4 | Disabled | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Paralyzed | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Blind | 53% | 130 |
| #4 | Disabled | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Paralyzed | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | -𝘔𝘰𝘩𝘴𝘦𝘯' | 42% | 76 |
| #7 | HENARAS_MAGIC | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HΣNaRa$ Sorena | 23 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Blind | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | -𝘔𝘰𝘩𝘴𝘦𝘯' | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Disabled | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | cockiaw | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HΣNaRa$ Sorena | 394 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Blind | 280 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | -𝘔𝘰𝘩𝘴𝘦𝘯' | 195 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Disabled | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | cockiaw | 91 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paralyzed | +3.59 | 65 | 55 |
| #2 | Disabled | +2.90 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | Blind | +2.65 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | cockiaw | +1.65 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | HΣNaRa$ Sorena | +0.42 | 31 | 62 |





