








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 292 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1514 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1936 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1646 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,063 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1094 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToothPickTerry | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | vanillo | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | PaPa VaC | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToothPickTerry | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | vanillo | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | PaPa VaC | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPa VaC | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | vanillo | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPa VaC | 230 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | vanillo | 103 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | ToothPickTerry | 19 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vanillo | +1.46 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Boopr | +1.36 | 53 | 27 |
| #3 | PaPa VaC | +0.93 | 39 | 50 |
| #4 | ToothPickTerry | +0.13 | 52 | 39 |





