








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5551 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4423 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3597 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3651 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,480 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | Aslv | 61% | 376 |
| #3 | creatine addicted nanahira fan | 56% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | Aslv | 61% | 376 |
| #3 | creatine addicted nanahira fan | 56% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | creatine addicted nanahira fan | 42 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Aslv | 39 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | 𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aslv | 700 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | creatine addicted nanahira fan | 300 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 | 59 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aslv | +3.31 | 50 | 62 |
| #2 | Kaust | +1.45 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | creatine addicted nanahira fan | +0.83 | 63 | 34 |
| #4 | 𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 | -1.04 | 48 | 52 |





