








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2973 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2575 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3363 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2600 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,916 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnD3sc0n0c1d0 ☾☜☯☞☽ | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Ženeral ☾☜☯☞☽ | 45% | 193 |
| #3 | N10n | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | Black_egg | 43% | 107 |
| #5 | Bananasera | 43% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bananasera | 31 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Ženeral ☾☜☯☞☽ | 26 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | UnD3sc0n0c1d0 ☾☜☯☞☽ | 8 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | Black_egg | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | N10n | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ženeral ☾☜☯☞☽ | 442 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Bananasera | 351 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Black_egg | 332 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | UnD3sc0n0c1d0 ☾☜☯☞☽ | 87 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | N10n | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |





