








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




237 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10858 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5564 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7609 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4565 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,511,421 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AttEZ | 43% | 84 |
| #6 | Jutipumppu | 41% | 231 |
| #7 | ssk𝔃 | 41% | 178 |
| #8 | turocs | 40% | 238 |
| #9 | Pok25 | 37% | 263 |





