








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 738 | 22% |
| Smokes | 884 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,305 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivoportarski | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | [Sestrite] Somalieca | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | maks.kn.11.11 | 42% | 112 |
| #4 | VeselDàni | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Johny Bravo | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivoportarski | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | [Sestrite] Somalieca | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | maks.kn.11.11 | 42% | 112 |
| #4 | VeselDàni | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Johny Bravo | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maks.kn.11.11 | 29 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | [Sestrite] Somalieca | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ivoportarski | 1 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | VeselDàni | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maks.kn.11.11 | 216 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Johny Bravo | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | [Sestrite] Somalieca | 26 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | VeselDàni | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | ivoportarski | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeselDàni | +6.55 | 78 | 30 |
| #2 | ivoportarski | +3.85 | 48 | 39 |
| #3 | [Sestrite] Somalieca | +1.78 | 49 | 63 |
| #4 | look behind you | +0.47 | 65 | 33 |
| #5 | Johny Bravo | -0.94 | 17 | 57 |





