








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1130 | 50% |
| Smokes | 178 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 647 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 299 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,221 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiabetesJonna | 45% | 82 |
| #2 | Gold3nTurt3l | 43% | 46 |
| #3 | Lund | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiabetesJonna | 45% | 82 |
| #2 | Gold3nTurt3l | 43% | 46 |
| #3 | Lund | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lund | 50 | 0.0367 |
| #2 | DiabetesJonna | 40 | 0.0244 |
| #3 | Gold3nTurt3l | 13 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lund | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | DiabetesJonna | 109 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gold3nTurt3l | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lund | +2.56 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | Krexi | +0.88 | 60 | 46 |
| #3 | DiabetesJonna | +0.20 | 34 | 42 |
| #4 | Gold3nTurt3l | -0.50 | 40 | 39 |





