








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3059 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2780 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2914 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,406,579 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 48% | 65 |
| #2 | Emilguld123 | 47% | 101 |
| #3 | LordAnte | 43% | 130 |
| #4 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | Freaky | 36% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 48% | 65 |
| #2 | Emilguld123 | 47% | 101 |
| #3 | LordAnte | 43% | 130 |
| #4 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | Freaky | 36% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordAnte | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Emilguld123 | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Freaky | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | z!pppS! | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 337 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Freaky | 220 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Emilguld123 | 205 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | LordAnte | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | +5.35 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Karrigans3x navi faze | +0.91 | 42 | 51 |
| #3 | LordAnte | -1.59 | 31 | 34 |
| #4 | Emilguld123 | -1.62 | 29 | 46 |
| #5 | z!pppS! | -1.95 | 14 | 55 |





