










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1138 | 42% |
| Smokes | 472 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 571 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,356 of utility $302 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Batrilel | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Wiciula162 | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Random Cat | 39% | 31 |
| #11 | wazzzupek | 33% | 9 |
| #12 | Lismax | 21% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥♥♥♥♥ | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Random Cat | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Lismax | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Jagodzia | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Lunaa215 | 1 | 0.0041 |





