








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3297 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3615 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3469 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3016 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,532,859 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bentley | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Dashy | 65% | 187 |
| #3 | Inubushi | 64% | 70 |
| #4 | Cablow | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | -SprK | 58% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | -SprK | 58% | 66 |
| #6 | JoGee | 56% | 142 |
| #7 | Orrstein | 51% | 184 |
| #8 | Sloth_AZ | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | stryxxen | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dashy | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | JoGee | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Orrstein | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | -SprK | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Cablow | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoGee | 612 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Orrstein | 538 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Dashy | 316 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Inubushi | 237 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | -SprK | 196 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -SprK | +1.70 | 60 | 56 |
| #2 | Dashy | +1.68 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | Sloth_AZ | +1.64 | 75 | 50 |
| #4 | Inubushi | +0.81 | 51 | 57 |
| #5 | JoGee | +0.79 | 59 | 57 |





