








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9231 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8826 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3836 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5716 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,101 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babydumptruck | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Coomer Gang or Die™ | 55% | 176 |
| #3 | GoJu | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babydumptruck | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Coomer Gang or Die™ | 55% | 176 |
| #3 | GoJu | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coomer Gang or Die™ | 26 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | GoJu | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | babydumptruck | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coomer Gang or Die™ | 234 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | GoJu | 150 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | babydumptruck | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coomer Gang or Die™ | +1.52 | 44 | 48 |
| #2 | ✪ Evi At | +0.08 | 38 | 68 |
| #3 | GoJu | -0.73 | 31 | 64 |
| #4 | babydumptruck | -2.69 | 19 | 55 |





