








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2871 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1885 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,085 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hot babes.com feat invandrare | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | valkoinen mies | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | Puh | 44% | 201 |
| #4 | Coastal Toppilas Estonian | 42% | 72 |
| #5 | EiNos18 | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hot babes.com feat invandrare | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | valkoinen mies | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | Puh | 44% | 201 |
| #4 | Coastal Toppilas Estonian | 42% | 72 |
| #5 | EiNos18 | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coastal Toppilas Estonian | 24 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | hot babes.com feat invandrare | 7 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Puh | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | valkoinen mies | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coastal Toppilas Estonian | 249 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Puh | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | valkoinen mies | 156 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | EiNos18 | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | hot babes.com feat invandrare | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hot babes.com feat invandrare | +4.61 | 85 | 29 |
| #2 | Puh | +2.65 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | EiNos18 | +0.18 | 57 | 68 |
| #4 | Coastal Toppilas Estonian | -0.07 | 55 | 45 |
| #5 | kleptomaanikeijo | -1.74 | 50 | 46 |





