








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3291 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1650 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 6627 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 2916 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,834,754 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3700 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linc | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | BakedPotato | 46% | 116 |
| #3 | Hollow Soldier | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linc | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | BakedPotato | 46% | 116 |
| #3 | Hollow Soldier | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakedPotato | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Linc | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Hollow Soldier | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakedPotato | 214 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Hollow Soldier | 153 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Linc | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh Allen | +0.77 | 85 | 44 |
| #2 | BakedPotato | -0.13 | 52 | 51 |
| #3 | Hollow Soldier | -0.86 | 53 | 57 |
| #4 | Linc | -1.29 | 58 | 65 |





