










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 331 | 22% |
| Smokes | 591 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 222 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,489 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Essentuan | 54% | 114 |
| #2 | ItsMeEverett | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | qeqeno | 52% | 136 |
| #4 | sam | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Essentuan | 54% | 114 |
| #2 | ItsMeEverett | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | qeqeno | 52% | 136 |
| #4 | sam | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Essentuan | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | qeqeno | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ItsMeEverett | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qeqeno | 248 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Essentuan | 207 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | sam | 78 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | ItsMeEverett | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qeqeno | +6.42 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | ItsMeEverett | +5.32 | 89 | 48 |
| #3 | Essentuan | +1.89 | 68 | 37 |
| #4 | sam | -1.64 | 46 | 60 |
| #5 | Lightly | -2.38 | 43 | 19 |





