








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3548 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3072 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2953 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3743 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,088,396 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgentOrange | 1062 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | .Chad | 853 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | Fr0st_Bit3 | 404 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Parb | 168 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sewtec | 112 | 0.19 | 2 min |





