








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1427 | 28% |
| Smokes | 997 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1271 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1444 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,405,996 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Stephen Curry | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | rijyn | 52% | 130 |
| #7 | PercGoblin | 49% | 61 |
| #8 | Hydro Assets | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | (TSM) Neutered Nick | 42% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PercGoblin | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Dog | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | (TSM) Neutered Nick | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | rijyn | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Venci | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rijyn | 335 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | (TSM) Neutered Nick | 197 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | PercGoblin | 107 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Venci | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hydro Assets | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rijyn | +4.63 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | Stephen Curry | +3.41 | 83 | 44 |
| #3 | Dog | +0.62 | 35 | 45 |
| #4 | Lith | +0.46 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | bilbus | +0.12 | 92 | 46 |





