








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2061 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2591 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3866 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3940 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,765 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchie Ray | 100% | 28 |
| #2 | userissue | 97% | 98 |
| #3 | Ziggy | 92% | 36 |
| #4 | Uncle mETH | 86% | 84 |
| #5 | Heiwa Tsuru-Ume Yuzushu | 84% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle mETH | 13 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Contyy | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Mitchie Ray | 7 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | myk | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Heiwa Tsuru-Ume Yuzushu | 6 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myk | 409 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | huska | 118 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hasbulla | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Uncle mETH | 114 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nang Dogg | 104 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | userissue | +12.86 | 100 | 20 |
| #2 | Heiwa Tsuru-Ume Yuzushu | +6.50 | 97 | 57 |
| #3 | Contyy | +5.15 | 98 | 57 |
| #4 | Ziggy | +4.87 | 99 | 54 |
| #5 | 𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 | +4.74 | 97 | 47 |





