








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1221 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14298 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9373 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 18646 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 7469 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,679,295 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jodecutler | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | m4sh | 50% | 549 |
| #3 | Brockenmann. | 50% | 156 |
| #4 | rocksstorm | 49% | 146 |
| #5 | Gund | 48% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | m4sh | 50% | 549 |
| #3 | Brockenmann. | 50% | 156 |
| #4 | rocksstorm | 49% | 146 |
| #5 | Gund | 48% | 173 |
| #6 | M4TJ1 | 43% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4sh | 28 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | M4TJ1 | 28 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | Jodecutler | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Gund | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Brockenmann. | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4sh | 630 | 0.05 | 18 min |
| #2 | M4TJ1 | 507 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Gund | 374 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Brockenmann. | 260 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jodecutler | 226 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4TJ1 | +5.39 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | Brockenmann. | +1.78 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | Gund | +1.13 | 42 | 59 |
| #4 | rocksstorm | +0.79 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | m4sh | -0.39 | 26 | 55 |





