








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1613 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1068 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,409 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotta | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | i like cumming into my socks | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Corona | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | Medikinet gaming | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | i suck lolipop (; | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Medikinet gaming | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | i suck lolipop (; | 46% | 76 |
| #6 | TI-Nspire CAS | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | matto | 36% | 36 |
| #8 | Dimitry Trubnikov | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TI-Nspire CAS | 25 | 0.0323 |
| #2 | Dimitry Trubnikov | 14 | 0.0300 |
| #3 | Corona | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Rotta | 6 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | i like cumming into my socks | 6 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corona | 247 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dimitry Trubnikov | 94 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rotta | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | i like cumming into my socks | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | matto | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i like cumming into my socks | +5.76 | 65 | 61 |
| #2 | Medikinet gaming | +4.85 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | matto | +3.75 | 55 | 42 |
| #4 | Dimitry Trubnikov | +3.36 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Rotta | +2.01 | 48 | 49 |





