








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 30% |
| Smokes | 91 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 84 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $24,127 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | danoco | 100% | 3 |
| #7 | LUCAS1 | 100% | 4 |
| #8 | GSMEME ELEGANTE | 100% | 5 |
| #9 | v$m | 100% | 6 |
| #10 | b4rtiN | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GSMEME ELEGANTE | 1 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | danoco | 1 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | desculpa sou ruim fodac | 1 | 0.0250 |
| #4 | DOGA | 1 | 0.0250 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v$m | 43 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #2 | danoco | 22 | 0.41 | 0 min |
| #3 | LUCAS1 | 20 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | b4rtiN | 17 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | DOGA | 12 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUCAS1 | +8.51 | 86 | 86 |
| #2 | NEKIZ | +5.60 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | v$m | +3.78 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | danoco | +3.47 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | CutzMeretz | +3.03 | 77 | 62 |





