










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 146 | 31% |
| Smokes | 98 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 83 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,588 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Vor_Gi | 39% | 23 |
| #8 | Nerdsuu | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | lexbawi2 | 36% | 45 |
| #10 | selkord | 31% | 13 |
| #11 | YOYA IS FRAGGING | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shizuko! | 10 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Nerdsuu | 6 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | YOYA IS FRAGGING | 4 | 0.0374 |
| #4 | Luboslav | 3 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | lexbawi2 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lexbawi2 | 115 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shizuko! | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | bob | 59 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luboslav | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | YOYA IS FRAGGING | 28 | 0.26 | 0 min |





