








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1588 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2288 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1627 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1639 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,226 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -4EPHbILLI- | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | yuumi | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | amae | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Endura | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | LEKIS | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 050453113314 | 249 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | У меня кредит | 203 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | cblH_HIOka | 170 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dr.Шиншилла | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Endura | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |





