








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 23% |
| Smokes | 407 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 232 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,650 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homo läski homer | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | J3rba | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | jeti | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | Jepa | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | Mestar | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jeti | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | Jepa | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | Mestar | 43% | 54 |
| #6 | KMPI | 38% | 34 |
| #7 | Dante | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mestar | 16 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | jeti | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | KMPI | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Jepa | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | homo läski homer | 3 | 0.0400 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeti | 247 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mestar | 227 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | KMPI | 106 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dante | 56 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | J3rba | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J3rba | +3.39 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | Jepa | +3.08 | 72 | 20 |
| #3 | KMPI | +0.99 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | homo läski homer | -0.85 | 44 | 23 |
| #5 | Dante | -1.35 | 67 | 52 |





