








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 26% |
| Smokes | 371 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 526 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,661 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pol Pot | 38% | 106 |
| #2 | Zyvorn | 29% | 7 |
| #3 | Товарищ Джонатан | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pol Pot | 38% | 106 |
| #2 | Zyvorn | 29% | 7 |
| #3 | Товарищ Джонатан | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pol Pot | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Товарищ Джонатан | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pol Pot | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Товарищ Джонатан | 20 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zyvorn | 19 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Товарищ Джонатан | +2.67 | 34 | 60 |
| #2 | Marl Karx | -0.35 | 32 | 39 |
| #3 | Pol Pot | -0.84 | 25 | 43 |
| #4 | Zyvorn | -5.68 | 20 | 28 |





