








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1114 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1862 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1785 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1793 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,913 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walker | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | tor3nt † | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | ✯ⒽⓅⒼ✯silver_BDF | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | A little mefka | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walker | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | tor3nt † | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | ✯ⒽⓅⒼ✯silver_BDF | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | A little mefka | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tor3nt † | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯ⒽⓅⒼ✯silver_BDF | 144 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | A little mefka | 87 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | tor3nt † | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | walker | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walker | +1.33 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | rELAX Magik | +0.08 | 68 | 44 |
| #3 | tor3nt † | +0.08 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | A little mefka | -0.18 | 69 | 77 |
| #5 | ✯ⒽⓅⒼ✯silver_BDF | -1.42 | 54 | 75 |





