








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1022 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 687 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,740 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aur1 | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | neirakiNg-AM- | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | rRA | 74% | 34 |
| #4 | Raiben | 72% | 29 |
| #5 | noisiNN | 72% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | forlekke<3M | 70% | 20 |
| #7 | 0NaY | 67% | 6 |
| #8 | sad plaier equisde | 60% | 5 |
| #9 | Zenith ☬ | 60% | 5 |
| #10 | Mathi | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noisiNN | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | forlekke<3M | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | sad plaier equisde | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rRA | 183 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #2 | noisiNN | 134 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #3 | forlekke<3M | 94 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | Raiben | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | 0NaY | 30 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | forlekke<3M | +2.81 | 72 | 81 |
| #2 | 0NaY | +1.85 | 67 | 78 |
| #3 | hidden֎ | +1.52 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | rRA | +1.40 | 88 | 72 |
| #5 | Mathi | +0.95 | 85 | 75 |





