








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2995 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2432 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2599 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2877 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,607 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hqkob35 | 49% | 98 |
| #8 | Reefah | 46% | 104 |
| #9 | 825 | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | eightbitlink | 39% | 38 |
| #11 | BOT Doc | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nimble | 40 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | swagonometry | 29 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | xvuvq | 19 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | eightbitlink | 14 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | BOT Doc | 13 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nimble | 290 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Reefah | 290 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | swagonometry | 173 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | xvuvq | 109 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | rice :3 | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |





