








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 170 | 23% |
| Smokes | 269 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 151 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 145 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,174 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazakhstanistanian Warrior | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | RättyDäddy | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Sumikaapas | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | elppu | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | A_Great_Banana | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RättyDäddy | +6.32 | 51 | 53 |
| #2 | NAKKI | +4.01 | 29 | 18 |
| #3 | A_Great_Banana | +1.07 | 26 | 48 |
| #4 | Sumikaapas | +0.98 | 49 | 60 |
| #5 | Rauno Alasin | +0.73 | 24 | 43 |





