








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1574 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 847 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,777 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAN3RX | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | <DRKG>R3SPECT | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | POKEMONAS | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Bamboo | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Spurgius | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAN3RX | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | <DRKG>R3SPECT | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | POKEMONAS | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Bamboo | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Spurgius | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <DRKG>R3SPECT | 24 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | TAN3RX | 16 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | Bamboo | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Spurgius | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | POKEMONAS | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <DRKG>R3SPECT | 237 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bamboo | 92 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Spurgius | 55 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | TAN3RX | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | POKEMONAS | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <DRKG>R3SPECT | +2.63 | 65 | 43 |
| #2 | lazeris | +1.34 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | TAN3RX | +1.14 | 63 | 38 |
| #4 | Bamboo | -2.31 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | POKEMONAS | -2.45 | 35 | 20 |





