








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 224 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1261 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2145 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4341 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1909 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,285,204 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3731 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SERVUN PELÄTYIN RV | 50% | 116 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein | 50% | 111 |
| #5 | Fasaani | 48% | 234 |
| #6 | DrFartManiac | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | anas420 | 42% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anas420 | 29 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Fasaani | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | SERVUN PELÄTYIN RV | 24 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein | 19 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | KarskiKorsto | 3 | 0.0038 |





