








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 624 | 17% |
| Smokes | 648 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1375 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 940 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,802 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonnepoika | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | neghers | 51% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonnepoika | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | neghers | 51% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neghers | 37 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | jonnepoika | 12 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neghers | 547 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | jonnepoika | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neghers | +2.58 | 67 | 57 |
| #2 | LARE | -0.59 | 49 | 36 |
| #3 | jonnepoika | -0.68 | 40 | 41 |





