








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3667 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1923 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1432 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,637 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





