








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1840 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1646 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1577 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1608 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,860 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zed | 64% | 53 |
| #2 | shy | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Mitha_ | 59% | 134 |
| #4 | DeeJayXXX | 58% | 135 |
| #5 | maybe chk | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitha_ | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | DeeJayXXX | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | zed | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | shy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Auc7 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeJayXXX | 690 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | Mitha_ | 372 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | shy | 163 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | zed | 121 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Auc7 | 116 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zed | +1.61 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | shy | +1.48 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | Auc7 | +1.46 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | DeeJayXXX | +1.13 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | Mitha_ | +0.73 | 78 | 60 |





