








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 30% |
| Smokes | 781 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 642 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 485 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,006 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [2.E.Z]_ヅ_Uncle.Roger | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | piesang pinkie | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Dylz | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Prwn | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | kokonuts.exe | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piesang pinkie | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dylz | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | kokonuts.exe | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | [2.E.Z]_ヅ_Uncle.Roger | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Phoenix | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prwn | +3.00 | 57 | 59 |
| #2 | kokonuts.exe | +2.87 | 72 | 44 |
| #3 | Mystic | +2.66 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | Dylz | +1.38 | 71 | 43 |
| #5 | Phoenix | -0.23 | 44 | 18 |





