








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1266 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1458 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 130 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,415 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djjamonconqueso | 51% | 139 |
| #2 | Duraznoliva_33 | 43% | 35 |
| #3 | pablo_notify | 43% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djjamonconqueso | 51% | 139 |
| #2 | Duraznoliva_33 | 43% | 35 |
| #3 | pablo_notify | 43% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo_notify | 23 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | djjamonconqueso | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Duraznoliva_33 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo_notify | 335 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | djjamonconqueso | 44 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Duraznoliva_33 | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astral | +2.01 | 27 | 35 |
| #2 | djjamonconqueso | -1.05 | 13 | 19 |
| #3 | pablo_notify | -1.74 | 15 | 30 |
| #4 | Duraznoliva_33 | -2.69 | 12 | 21 |





