








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5809 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6397 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4385 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2945 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,386 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FappingBird | 53% | 156 |
| #2 | HimoLäskiHomer | 51% | 89 |
| #3 | D00B3R95 | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | liminaL :3 | 46% | 208 |
| #5 | Kilekooper | 42% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HimoLäskiHomer | 51% | 89 |
| #3 | D00B3R95 | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | liminaL :3 | 46% | 208 |
| #5 | Kilekooper | 42% | 166 |
| #6 | juhis <3 | 18% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liminaL :3 | 20 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | HimoLäskiHomer | 16 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Kilekooper | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | juhis <3 | 12 | 0.0180 |
| #5 | FappingBird | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FappingBird | 351 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kilekooper | 343 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | HimoLäskiHomer | 326 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | liminaL :3 | 276 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | D00B3R95 | 41 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiv3 | +1.34 | 72 | 49 |
| #2 | HimoLäskiHomer | +0.51 | 68 | 49 |
| #3 | FappingBird | -0.88 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | liminaL :3 | -1.24 | 64 | 38 |
| #5 | Kilekooper | -1.89 | 47 | 60 |





