








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,884 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3364 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3186 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3048 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2793 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $508,630 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helze ッ | 56% | 133 |
| #2 | Azure | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | Knas | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | Haxnot | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | North | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Helze ッ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Haxnot | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Azure | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | North | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helze ッ | 507 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Knas | 180 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Rolf | 153 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Haxnot | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | North | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bengts | +3.66 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Helze ッ | +2.16 | 82 | 80 |
| #3 | Knas | +1.64 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | North | -0.99 | 37 | 44 |
| #5 | Azure | -1.38 | 74 | 40 |





