








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Esplay | 22 matches | 1,844 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1146 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1057 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 866 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $165,395 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CUBER | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Sjeiken | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | SiddeBror | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | KOR | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | Biaminis | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sjeiken | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | SiddeBror | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | KOR | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | Biaminis | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | johanw5 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOR | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | SiddeBror | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Sjeiken | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOR | 200 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | CUBER | 116 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Biaminis | 84 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sjeiken | 65 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | johanw5 | 58 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjeiken | +3.83 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | CUBER | +3.22 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Biaminis | +1.76 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | KOR | +0.91 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | SiddeBror | +0.47 | 46 | 61 |





