










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 35% |
| Smokes | 640 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 543 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 268 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,411 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocomelon | 39% | 23 |
| #2 | bomb threat | 34% | 68 |
| #3 | Azusa Nakano | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocomelon | 39% | 23 |
| #2 | bomb threat | 34% | 68 |
| #3 | Azusa Nakano | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomb threat | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Azusa Nakano | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomb threat | 187 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | cocomelon | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Azusa Nakano | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomb threat | +3.96 | 67 | 38 |
| #2 | cocomelon | +2.82 | 61 | 51 |
| #3 | Azusa Nakano | +2.42 | 32 | 24 |
| #4 | Nanofnoob | -5.34 | 2 | 43 |





