








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1526 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1380 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1141 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,880 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JX_ | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | @Kyu8i | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | pNNG | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 67% | 36 |
| #5 | Fl4mming | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JoeZi | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | LΛZY | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | 𝕯𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖈 | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | Sarty | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | Justin | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justin | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | @Kyu8i | 2 | 0.0171 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JX_ | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | LΛZY | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | pNNG | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fl4mming | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ><(('> meng ♫ | +3.79 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Zwicki | +2.06 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | JX_ | +0.89 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | LΛZY | +0.78 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | 𝕯𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖈 | +0.35 | 80 | 71 |





