








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1876 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1869 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1139 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1349 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,224 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fou | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | GGod | 58% | 78 |
| #3 | yB- | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | Target | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | ham1k0 dA best | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yB- | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | Target | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | ham1k0 dA best | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | xecof | 54% | 50 |
| #7 | BABAKE | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABAKE | 25 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | xecof | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | GGod | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | fou | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | ham1k0 dA best | 4 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABAKE | 588 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #2 | GGod | 165 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | yB- | 142 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | xecof | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ham1k0 dA best | 116 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLIGARCH BEKO | +2.25 | 94 | 57 |
| #2 | GGod | +1.42 | 90 | 50 |
| #3 | fou | +0.71 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | yB- | -0.11 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | xecof | -0.38 | 82 | 58 |





