








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,596 | |
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4068 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2642 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1469 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2998 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,855 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tittler | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | La Pasión | 54% | 152 |
| #3 | Bajskorven | 49% | 97 |
| #4 | Mentally Untouchable | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | WheelChairSlayer | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | La Pasión | 54% | 152 |
| #3 | Bajskorven | 49% | 97 |
| #4 | Mentally Untouchable | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | WheelChairSlayer | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | bjöøöøöøöøöøöørn | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mentally Untouchable | 17 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Bajskorven | 16 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | La Pasión | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | WheelChairSlayer | 13 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | Tittler | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mentally Untouchable | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | La Pasión | 187 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bajskorven | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | WheelChairSlayer | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | bjöøöøöøöøöøöørn | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X_Angel | +2.98 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | La Pasión | +0.69 | 67 | 41 |
| #3 | Bajskorven | -1.72 | 47 | 41 |
| #4 | Tittler | -1.87 | 48 | 14 |
| #5 | bjöøöøöøöøöøöørn | -3.23 | 20 | 24 |





