










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 31% |
| Smokes | 492 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 585 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 329 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,732 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 666 | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | S H R E K D | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | BilbertTheGray | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | fat brother jacob | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | LaiZeyy | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✈ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | 666 | 2 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | BilbertTheGray | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | S H R E K D | 1 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | 666 | 1 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✈ | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | 666 | 30 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | send him to Dagestan | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | BilbertTheGray | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | fat brother jacob | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 666 | +7.65 | 100 | 36 |
| #2 | ✝ темный мир ✝ | +4.06 | 95 | 57 |
| #3 | ✈ | +3.33 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | patata fragilé | +2.35 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | send him to Dagestan | +0.18 | 99 | 36 |





