








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 612 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7628 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7412 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5797 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6401 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,192,457 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππππππ β‘ | 58% | 168 |
| #2 | Π²ΠΊΠ»ΠΎΡΠ½! | 53% | 76 |
| #3 | ππΎπ½π | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | moonpie24 | 52% | 327 |
| #5 | Cafu | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moonpie24 | 49 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Π²ΠΊΠ»ΠΎΡΠ½! | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Magix | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Isentropic Quasistatic | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Cafu | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Π²ΠΊΠ»ΠΎΡΠ½! | +3.34 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | moonpie24 | +2.07 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | ππΎπ½π | +2.03 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | πππππππ β‘ | +0.36 | 87 | 54 |
| #5 | ad11et | +0.35 | 72 | 59 |





