








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 984 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3678 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4653 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 7488 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9366 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,980,463 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1924 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TooThicc | 59% | 83 |
| #2 | QuGGuu | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | Zeso <3 🦈🦆 | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | HogisRasse | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | Keijo | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | QuGGuu | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | Zeso <3 🦈🦆 | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | HogisRasse | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | Keijo | 49% | 59 |
| #6 | Nipe | 46% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HogisRasse | 22 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Nipe | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Keijo | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | TooThicc | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | QuGGuu | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuGGuu | 318 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | TooThicc | 190 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nipe | 170 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | HogisRasse | 125 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Keijo | 56 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuGGuu | +1.76 | 36 | 80 |
| #2 | HogisRasse | +1.12 | 21 | 32 |
| #3 | Nipe | +1.08 | 32 | 59 |
| #4 | TooThicc | -0.23 | 27 | 51 |
| #5 | Zeso <3 🦈🦆 | -1.73 | 25 | 22 |





